Why You Have Food Guilt & How You Can Overcome It
You had a hard day at work, and the last thing you want to do is come home, cook dinner, and clean the kitchen. So, you decide to order your favorite pasta dish with breadsticks, and you absolutely enjoy your meal until... the guilt sank in and you felt consumed with thoughts like, “I shouldn’t have eaten that!” “That was so many carbs," and “Gosh, why was I so lazy tonight? I could have made something healthier!”
Sound familiar? Don’t worry, because I’ve been there too, but I’ve overcome the food guilt and constant unhelpful thoughts. And I’m going to tell you exactly how to do the same, because I promise you they aren’t helping you at all when it comes to improving your nutrition and feeling good, physically and mentally!
In the blog post, I’ll be giving you all the insights of what food guilt is, where your guilt actually comes from (hint: it doesn’t come from you), why you feel guilty about eating, how guilt keeps you stuck from progressing, and my top strategies for overcoming your food guilt.
What Is Guilt?
Guilt is a conditioned emotion that you’ve been taught to experience in response to having committed an action, having a thought, or feeling an emotion that one deems “wrong” or "bad.”
Oftentimes, this is taught to you in childhood by your parents and/or guardians, or the people you look up to the most. Guilt arises from the tensions between your desires and the expectations of the systems around you.
You want to do what’s best without causing harm to yourself or others. You learn to feel guilt, so hopefully you won’t repeat the action. This feeling of guilt stems from your morality as a human. You want to be a good human being, respect others, and do good.
What is Food Guilt?
Food guilt appears when you believe you’ve done something wrong in terms of food. This could show up if you believe you’ve eaten “too much” or “bad.” It can be thoughts like:
“Ugh, why did I eat that many cookies! Now, my whole day is ruined.”
“I shouldn’t have ordered the burger and fries.”
“I feel bad for my cravings for ice cream. I have no willpower!”
You’ve attached this conditioned emotion to your actions around food because you’ve been taught there’s a “right” and “wrong” way to eat food.
The Root of Your Food Guilt
The truth is, you weren’t born believing that there is a “right” way to eat and a “wrong” way to eat. You were taught this. And, unfortunately, whoever taught you, they weren’t born with those sets of beliefs either. Sadly, we live in a diet-culture world where we’re consumed with messages teaching us that our worth and reason for living are to lose weight.
The dieting industry in America is worth $89.9 billion as of 2023 and is on track to grow another 4.3% by the end of 2024.
Our diet-obsessed world is simply here to take your money, not care for your health or overall well-being.
So, it’s time to call them out and end your food guilt once and for-all.
Other common reasons why you feel guilty:
Food Rules: The rules you have around food, like “sweets are bad, so I shouldn’t keep them in my house” or “keep carb intake as minimal as possible” or “I didn’t exercise today, so I better get the salad,” are the exact rules that are driving your food guilt.
The good thing? You can overcome these food rules and stop the guilt.
Mental Restrictions: Maybe you are physically eating foods like cake, cookies, ice cream, fast food, pizza, etc., but you’re beating yourself up over these choices mentally. This is where having the mental thought of believing you’ve done something wrong leads to guilt.
The good thing? You can start seeing food as just food.
Scared to Fail: You fear or hate failure, so you picture this “perfect” way of eating and expect yourself to always achieve it. And the one time you “mess up,” you let guilt in, beat yourself up, and expect yourself to do better.
The good thing? There’s no failing. There’s not a perfect way to eat. There’s only finding your way of eating that feels good to you and learning to be flexible with it.
Unaligned food choices: Guilt comes knocking when your beliefs, attitudes, and values aren’t aligned. Food guilt comes knocking when you're not authentically aligned with yourself, food choices, and food habits.
The good thing? You can redefine health for yourself and positively work towards improving it.
How Food Guilt Keeps You Stuck
You’ve probably attempted to eat healthier and exercise more many times, but for some reason you find yourself right back at the beginning. This is an example of the dieting cycle.
You start a new diet (or maybe just eat "better").
Everything goes well, and you’re sticking to your new ways.
Cravings sit in. You can’t get food off your mind. You’re hungry.
You have an off-week. Or two. Or three.
Guilt sets in. You feel miserable. You feel bad. You blame yourself for not having the willpower to stick with it.
Start over again.
You’re letting guilt (diet culture) lead you rather than letting yourself be in control.
Strategies to Overcome Your Food Guilt
As I mentioned above, it’s possible to overcome your food guilt, but something you need to keep in mind is that this will take time! This isn’t an overnight fix, so give yourself grace and compassion as you learn how to release all those years of food guilt.
Ditch Dieting & Eat Consistently
You’ve probably tried all the diets: Keto, Whole 30, Weight Watchers, calorie or macro counting, detoxing, and the list goes on… It’s time to let those go because the restrictive eating and mindset are only setting you up to stay stuck.
The truth? You don’t need to follow another diet or eliminate foods from your life to feel good. You don’t have to cling to the all-or-nothing mindset, where if you do something "wrong," you must hurry to correct it.
So, go ahead and clear out the dieting books, podcasts, counting and tracking apps, Facebook groups, health coaches, and any other source that may keep you from ditching diet culture.
While diet culture tells you to ignore your hunger, wait as long as you can to eat, and limit the amount you eat, I'm here to tell you that eating consistently is the most impactful thing you can do for yourself and your overall nutrition.
Eating consistently will allow a reconnection to happen between you and your body. This reconnection will let your body know that you aren’t going on another restrictive diet but that you are learning how to fuel your body in a way that feels good, both physically and mentally.
Eating consistently helps to establish healthful patterns so that you’re not swinging from restricting to overeating (or even binge eating). You’re able to eat calmly and mindfully, which will then help you build healthful, balanced meals. Use the following strategy to help you begin eating consistently:
Try not to go longer than 5 hours without eating.
Build a balanced meal with carbs, protein, fat, and fiber.
Create Curiosity, Not Judgment
Get curious about your food guilt. Where does it show up for you? Are there specific times when it is more noticeable? What foods are you eating when feelings of guilt arise? Describe the environment around you. Was there something that might have triggered you to reach for specific foods? Why do you think guilt is showing up for you then?
For instance, you come home, grab a bag of chips, sit down, and before you know it, you’ve hit the bottom of the bag. Normally, this is where your guilt sinks in and you start to bully yourself. But now you’re going to pause and engage with curiosity. Engaging with curiosity rather than judging and shaming yourself over your food choices is the first step to overcoming it.
After exploring, you recall your mom always telling you that chips were unhealthy and would cause you to gain weight. She would never keep chips in the house. You also noticed that you had a very stressful day at work, didn’t get to eat a filling and satisfying lunch, and simply wanted to unwind from the day.
So now, instead of you bullying yourself (it’s never nice to bully someone else, so let’s not do it to ourselves!), you simply acknowledge your actions and thoughts and work towards improving them.
Back to my chip example: Now, knowing where these guilty feelings about chips come from, you’re able to respond with something like this: Of course, I feel guilty for eating chips. I was raised in a household where food was either good or bad, and I still view it as such. I was also out of touch with my body because of a high-stress day. It’s okay to enjoy chips, but next time I will pause to check in with myself to see if either I can create a more balanced snack or if I actually need something else besides food.
Let Go of Food Rules
There are no longer “good” or “bad” foods. Food is just food. And yes, absolutely, there is a nutritional difference between a piece of broccoli and a chocolate chip cookie. You aren’t dismissing nutritional knowledge, but you are removing the morality attached to food.
By letting go of your food rules, you are opening the door to a deeper understanding of how different foods make you feel and building knowledge around that so you can apply it in the future.
Because there are times when broccoli is the best choice, like when you’re wanting to add fiber to a meal. And there are times when a chocolate chip cookie is the best fit, like when you’re just craving one.
Tune Inward
How many times have you sat down to eat a meal and the next thing you know, you’re already finished, and you don’t even know how the food tasted? This is where being a bit more mindful can help!
Not only will mindfulness help you understand your body’s signals, like satisfaction and fullness, but it can also help you overcome your food rules. Being mindful during your meal times or with specific foods can simply be a five-minute check-in before, during, and after the meal!
Ask yourself these questions to help guide you:
How hungry are you going into the meal?
Describe the way the food looks. Is it appealing to you?
What does the food taste like? Describe the texture, temperature, and smell.
Are you enjoying the meal, or would adding something else make it better?
Are you satisfied both physically and mentally when you’ve completed the meal?
And, if you’re a mom like me, meal times can be a bit chaotic! I like to encourage clients to involve the kids when asking questions. It allows your kids to view food a bit differently, tune inward themselves, and gives you the opportunity to practice!
Remember This
I know all too well how exhausting food guilt can be, and I promise you that your food guilt doesn’t have to consume you. It’s possible to overcome it with time, grace, and compassion.
Your nutrition doesn’t have to be all-or-nothing. This journey is about finding what works well for you and your body without the added pressure of trying to make it fit inside a perfect box. Allow yourself to explore your patterns, mindset, and food choices, and watch how your relationship with food (and yourself) can change for the better.